How do you heal and move on after a toxic relationship?
There’s a moment in every healing journey when something inside your soul shifts. You move into a new sense of clarity & discernment. Recently, I’ve felt that shift. It showed up quietly, like a gentle wave finally reaching the shore after years of ebbs and flows.
I sat with my tarot & oracle cards, candles dimly lighting up my bedroom with R&B music humming softly in the background. Angel numbers appeared on my phone like small, persistent nudges from the Universe, each one catching my eye and pulling me fully into my current situation. It was in this moment of solace where Spirit spoke in a way I could finally understand.
The path I’ve walked for the past 5 years, the lessons that have shaped me, and the peace I finally earned is what came crashing down for me to reflect on. It was time for me to acknowledge the shadows I’ve survived, honoring the growth I’ve claimed, and finally understand that healing isn’t linear. It’s filled with a series of awakenings & moments that remind me of resilience, clarity, and worth.
At the end of it all, clarity is what I wanted, needed and eventually received from someone I thought I never would’ve heard from again.
5 Years of Healing
Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?
My last romantic relationship was intense. It wasn’t just your average heartbreak. That relationship was filled with trauma that tested my entire existence (granted it didn’t start off that way).
During the pandemic, the man I fell in love with became a danger to my life. That chapter of my story changed my DNA forever. I’ve been very open about this, sharing pieces of my story publicly, especially on my podcast, Watch Us Thrive, because I believe in the power of speaking your truth to break cycles and help others who’ve walked similar paths feel less alone.
For the past 5 years, I’ve been untangling myself from his energy. I’ve rebuilt my boundaries, self-worth & emotional independence. Granted, I’m still healing my abandonment, rejection and codependency wounds (because I believe we’re all healing,not healed). I’ve learned to love myself without shrinking, without compromising my values or boundaries, and to be unapologetic as fuck about it. Every conversation I’ve had about that relationship, every podcast episode I’ve recorded or been a guest on, and every word I’ve written on a blog post has been part of reclaiming my voice and power.
But recently, the man I fell in and out of love with reached out to me… after 5 years of radio silence. We had no contact up until this point. I moved on and was sure he did too. But his message landed gently in my Instagram DM one Sunday morning. He wrote:
“Hello Lianne… I wanna take the time to truly apologize to you for all I put you through. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way at all… I was a monster and never deserved you.You were never to blame for any of it. I just had so much hurt and hate in me. I couldn’t love anyone the right way. The person I am now I owe to our trials and tribulations. I needed to be away from all that I love to know what true love is. I thank you for that gift. I will always be in debt to you for that correction. Please take care of yourself.”
His words stirred feelings inside of me I didn’t even know I was ready to face. I didn’t feel a sense of longing or desire. There was no urgency to reconcile the relationship we once had. All I heard was the emotional echoes of a story that shaped and helped me become the woman I am now. It was a reminder of the distance I’ve traveled, the lessons I’ve integrated, and the strength I carry is one that no one can take away.
The Spiritual Messages I Needed to Hear
During this moment of reflection, the Universe was speaking to me in ways I could feel deep in my body. Signs, synchronicities, and subtle nudges appeared, reminding me to slow down, pay attention, and honor my growth. It was as if Spirit was guiding me to a new understanding, gently confirming everything I’d learned about myself over the past 5 years.
The messages were not loud or forceful. They were quiet, persistent, and showing up in small ways that pulled me into this present moment. Each message reminded me to stay grounded, trust my instincts, and acknowledge the energy I carried for too long. These feelings reminded me that closure is not about someone else, but about reclaiming my own power, embracing my boundaries & trusting my journey.
I realized that healing is never linear. It’s full of awakenings, gentle reminders, and moments of clarity that arrive when we’re ready to truly receive them. It’s a process of noticing the subtle guidance around us, listening to our intuition, and allowing ourselves to step fully into our lives with courage, grace, and self-respect.
Through these spiritual messages, I found reassurance that I’m on the right path. I’m moving forward with intention, self-love, and a deep understanding of self-worth. The Universe was simply reminding me that the chapter I thought would never end is truly complete, a cycle has officially closed and I’m ready to embrace the next part of my journey.
Speaking My Truth as a Path to Healing
Using my voice to express myself has always been my way of processing, releasing, and understanding my trauma & relationship history. It’s how I’ve turned emotion into clarity, pain into power, and experience into growth. Speaking my truth is how I reclaim me.
So, I’m back to blogging (under a new website… I lost access to my old one) but not for my ex or anyone else. This comeback is for me. To honor my story and share with those who need to know that healing, even after trauma and heartbreak, is in fact possible. That peace, self-love, and boundaries are real. And even when someone from your past reaches out to you unexpectedly, your healing (or lack thereof) is what truly matters.
If he reads this post, that’s fine. This isn’t about him. This is about the woman I’ve grown into, the life I’m creating, and the freedom I’m claiming. It’s about showing up for myself without apology and with full authenticity.
This is only the beginning. I plan to share more of my journey in a series of posts exploring the lessons I have learned, challenges I continue to navigate, and ways I’ve reclaimed myself. Each post will be a space for reflection, empowerment, and connection… a gentle reminder that no matter what we have survived, we can continue to rise, grow, and thrive.
I hope these words offer anyone reading it encouragement, validation, and a sense of companionship on your own path of healing.
Your journey matters, your voice matters, and your next chapter is waiting…