Navigating when the shedding is done, but the becoming hasn’t fully arrived yet
The Year of the Snake has officially ended.
In the Chinese zodiac, there’s a 12-year cycle where each year carries the energy of a different animal. The Snake is one of them, and when its year rolls around, the collective conversation always centers on shedding, rebirth, and renewal. The Year of the Snake represents letting go of what no longer fits and outgrowing old versions of yourself. It represents releasing identities, relationships, and patterns that once felt safe but no longer align.
Snake energy asks the uncomfortable questions, like: Where are you still operating from survival? Where are you clinging to something that no longer fits who you’re becoming?
Now, let’s be honest, sis. Shedding isn’t cute while it’s happening. It can feel lonely as fuck, like loss and confusion at the same time. You look around and it seems like everyone else is thriving, glowing, and living their best lives, while you feel defeated, exhausted, and completely drained. And no one really talks about how disorienting it is after the shedding happens but before the next thing fully arrives.
That uncomfortable, raw, and exposed feeling? The in-between space where you feel stuck and stagnant?
That’s where I’m at right now.
If there’s one thing that the Year of the Snake taught me, it taught me how to let go. How to release unhealthy relationships, toxic identities, bad habits, and old versions of myself I had clearly outgrown. It forced me to sit with truths I didn’t want to see and emotions I didn’t want to feel. The Snake stripped me down to what was real and released anything else that wasn’t meant to serve me.
Now we’re stepping into the Year of the Horse, which is supposed to symbolize momentum, freedom, movement, and fast, forward motion. We’re supposed to feel that expansion and called to take bold action. And yet… there’s a tenderness to this next season. A kind of vulnerability that doesn’t feel empowering yet, at least for me.
Sis, here’s the part no one posts about… I don’t feel like I’m sprinting yet. I’ve felt stuck on a never ending hamster wheel that refuses to stop spinning even when I feel sick to my stomach. Like I’m standing at the gate for the next level of my life, with the reins in my hands, my heart pounding out of my chest, and I’m not sure when or where to run. And truthfully… it’s such an intense and frustrating feeling.
I know for a fact that I am no longer who I used to be. That version of Lianne died a long time ago, but I’ve resisted in completely letting her go for a while. She was created from a place of pain and survival. She became my savior when I needed saving and my confidant when I needed someone to cry to.
But I’m also not fully who I’m becoming either. Yes, that intense, inner healing shadow work has been done, but old emotions are still surfacing. Old attachment wounds are showing up and old insecurities are rearing their ugly head. I have such an intense want, need, and desire for ease, softness, and peace… and yet I keep finding myself in predicaments and situations that require an insane amount of effort, endless amounts of patience (which is not my strongest character trait), and to be understanding for other people’s dynamics, sometimes at my own expense.
It’s the place where you know exactly what you don’t want anymore, but what you do want hasn’t stabilized. There’s a sense of clarity that exists in theory, yet your nervous system hasn’t caught up to what’s happening in real time. I can sense a change in this new version of myself, shit, sometimes I can even feel the shift coming… but I’m not fully embodied like her yet.
Right now, I’m fucking tired. I feel emotionally spent on competing for space in people’s lives. I’m tired of over-explaining my needs and pretending like I’m more evolved than I actually am. I always say this but I truly mean it… I’m healing, not healed. And I’m tired of trying to convince myself to be grateful for things that still feel misaligned in my life.
And you know what, sis? Maybe that’s okay.
Maybe this moment isn’t about galloping forward or putting the pedal to the metal. Maybe right now is about standing still long enough to admit that I want a life that feels simpler, softer, and reciprocal. I want a life that feels like I’m living a dream every single day. But unfortunately, that isn’t my current reality. The in-between doesn’t offer quick answers. It offers truth, and sometimes that truth is uncomfortable, but it’s honest.
So here’s my truth: I’m not done shedding, but I’m also not ready to run… yet.
There’s something powerful about choosing to sit with the frustration instead of rushing past it. To allow the feelings that are showing up inform you of how you’re feeling rather than shaming yourself for feeling it. It’s empowering to trust that when movement comes, it will be aligned, not forced.
If the Snake taught me how to let go and the Horse will eventually teach me how to move freely, then this pause is where I get to decide how I want to move forward. This messy, irritating, uncomfortable in-between has purpose, even if I can’t truly understand the lesson behind it at this moment.
If this post resonates with you, I need you to remember something, sis… you’re not behind… you’re becoming. And even if it feels heavy right now, you’re still evolving.
And trust me… you’re not alone in how you’re feeling, because I’m right there with you, boo🖤